I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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