Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
