I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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