How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
