the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
These tits shall not be calmed
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
