how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
