I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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