Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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