dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
