i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
