32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
