It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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