the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Can I color on your dick again?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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