I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
