I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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