I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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