I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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