i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
