the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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