if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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