Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
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