My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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