It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
