If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
