he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
