thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
