Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
