she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
