Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
