I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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