I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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