I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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