Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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