Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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