I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
okay pat passed out under dana's car
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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