It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
