I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
