oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
