I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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