yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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