If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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