Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize