His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize