you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
