I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
