Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
