he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
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Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
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I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.