Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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