If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
