it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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