I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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