he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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