i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You made out with two different species that night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
