...so i touched it.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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