so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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