the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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