I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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