I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
