"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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