im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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