its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
