pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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