you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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