i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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