she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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