i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
