i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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