I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
